Many people don’t understand the profound loss we feel on losing our animal companions. “It’s just a dog,” they comment, looking at us askance, as though we were of the emotionally needy, neurotic segment of society.

If it’s of any comfort, all of us who share this special bond with the four legged members of our family do understand. It is as painful as losing anyone special and beloved in our lives. And we must go through the same process.

I am currently involved in providing palliative care to my dear mastiff bitch, Diva -- yes, the same Diva who stars in my articles on dog breeding. The same Diva who attained not only Canadian championship as a show dog, but also American and International status. The Diva who was born to my equally beloved Shirley (now deceased) and who has been by my companion since the day we took her out of her mother.

Last week, I took her to a veterinarian here in Florida, my winter home. She’d developed a severe limp, which grew worse daily, and she’d lost a considerable amount of weight. I did some research on the net, found a vet close to my home with good references, and went, expecting to hear she had blown a cruciate ligament, or sprained her knee. I was already doing financial gymnastics, trying to figure out how I’d pay for cruciate ligament surgery. I was not prepared to hear she had bone cancer, and a short time left to live.

Before I go further, let me assure you, she is getting as much help to remain comfortable for the rest of her days as can be provided – pain killers and anti-inflammatory medication. Still, she diminishes before my eyes each day.

Perhaps this is a good time to remind myself, and you of the five steps of grieving.

Denial: This can’t be right. There’s been a mistake, and if I pay for one more test, we’ll find out it isn’t cancer. No, I don’t believe it. Diva’s always been such a healthy dog; it can’t be right.

Anger: This isn’t fair, isn’t right. Why is this happening? Denial has run out of steam, and you’re just plain mad.

Bargaining: Just let her live until after Christmas, and I promise I’ll donate more time to the SPCA. If you really love me, God, you’ll let her live until the New Year. Just let me get through Christmas, and I’ll …. The anger is replaced with the last vestige of hope, that somehow we can remain in control of events, and we enter into negotiations to extend life and postpone the inevitable.

Acceptance: Diva will be leaving me soon. I will miss her. I will mourn her. And in the future, I will remember her with joy. She is leaving me too soon, but this is the way of life. It will be okay and I will face it.

Yes, this is how we deal with grief if we lose our grandparents, our parents, our spouse, a friend -- anyone we care about. Nothing is different because it’s a pet we mourn.

So why are we sometimes made to feel that our grieving the loss of a pet is somehow less debilitating, less genuine, and less deserving of comfort and understanding, simply because our loved one is not of the human species?

The answer is I don’t know.

For many of us, especially those of us alone in our later years, our pet companions are the only ones that share our day to day existence. Many a lonely human in today’s fast pace world is overlooked by their fellow humans, and their pets assuage their loneliness and fill the need to have someone to care for and look after. The grief they may feel for the loss of their furry friend is very real and should never be disparaged, just because they were of another species.

Even those with full lives may feel the loss of their pet as strongly as any other occasion when death has touched their lives. There is something about the unquestioning, unconditional regard of our pets that makes the bond different from any other relationship we may engage, and it is devastating to many of us when we must say that final good-bye.

Now, I’m sure that anyone accessing a web site dedicated to caring for pets would understand the pain of that loss. But many don’t, and compound the grief with their dismissal, so much so that even the grieving person feels obligated to shrug it off with, “He was just a dog,” and deny their own feelings.

So, if someone you know has lost a pet to old age or illness treat them as you would anyone in mourning. That person may have just said good-bye to their best friend. As I will have to do, soon.